I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Say something about gay babies.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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