Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
