I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
