i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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