We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
