I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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