does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize