please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
