I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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