don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
