so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
