Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
