We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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