It's Friday. Sex?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
