laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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