Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
