i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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