Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
