We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
