At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
