a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
