we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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