in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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