I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
