I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
