Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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