toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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