i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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