Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
