Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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