At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Boobs are out for the taking
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
