dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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