tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
