so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm both gender and math confused
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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