Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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