How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
