Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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