oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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