Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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