Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
