I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
