dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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