Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
