BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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