We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
