if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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