Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
