also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
