Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
