In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
