I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
