whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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