You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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