yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
