i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize