Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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