I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
