Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
