I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
