Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize